An Indigo Gale
To take the lighter side of things seriously, you sometimes have to lighten your conscience...unload the guilt that comes with the thirst for knowledge and control. Power also blinds you to these things, the small things.
After watching my two best friends, of these past 2 years, finally graduate from the faculty...I felt I needed to hold on to something a lost a long time ago. Humility was never a strong part of my character, it is simply thrust upon me as a consequence, like it is now. I have nothing to show for myself as of yet, I am simply another human being walking through a simple and meager life. Not even my experience can speak for me.
It was throughout the ceremony that I found my heart could still bleed...if only for a few seconds. Her name I could still remember, even after what seemed and eternity after I left the faculty. It's amazing to still be attracted to the same person you thought you left behind in the mist so many years ago.
JP, my initials and my nickname, has become symbolic of resistance; of borderline obsession with a dream; of impermeability. Long has it been since I had a softspot for anything that wasn't in my narrow vision of things to come. It happened when I saw Carolina...and it happened again when I saw Elba.
There is still a part of me that's unbound to my dream...a part of me I'm not sure I want to let go.
A heart of ice can fracture but it can also refreeze itself solid if enough time goes by.
The questions I ask myself are: Do I really want to die a stonecold monument to chasing your dreams? Do I really want to die alone?
Is JP to become a bronze statue postmortum? Or does the symbol have a chance to become a pleasent memory in the minds of those who survive and a noble footnote in history?
posted at: 22:02 | path: | permanent link to this entry